Some psychologists believe that a person needs not only positive, but also a small amount of negative emotions. Think about it, because it is the feeling of discomfort that pushes us to take some decisive actions, and, conversely, in a state of happiness, we don’t want to change anything. It is always impossible to be in boundless bliss, just like in a neutral state - all this brings us into a small stupor, as if we are hanging in the so-called "comfort zone". Development is somewhat halted. Stress often gives impetus to action, the desire for change.

Unfortunately, not everyone perceives the negativity that has fallen upon themselves as “help from above”, a hint that it is time to get out of the familiar “comfort zone” and climb a step higher. Most prefer the simpler way - to dump negative emotions right there, no matter who. And having got used to such a variant of emotional unloading, such individuals easily become emotional or psychological vampires. For some, this behavior even brings pleasure. This is the fate of the weak and incapable of decisive action people. Our task is to learn to recognize them in time and not to let ourselves be manipulated. Indeed, often we do not even realize that someone is “feeding” on us.

So, let's figure out who they are, psychological vampires? These are people who are hungry for "easy money" in the form of psychological energy. Psychologists say that each of us has an “energy body” that goes beyond the physical and the larger it is, the stronger the personality, the better and more confident it feels. A normal person, if he wants to replenish, strengthen his energy field with something pleasant and useful, basks in the sun, goes to a concert of his favorite band, goes camping all weekend, gets enough sleep, does needlework, goes to the gym or church ... options, really Indeed, mass! Vampires are those who do not know how to replenish their energy in other ways, except to "suck" it from another - the donor. Everything, in fact, depends on the level of spiritual development. When you learn to recognize vampires, you will notice that they become immature, failed, weak personalities. And the absorption of someone else's energy for them is not a disease, but a behavior pattern! Sometimes this model is passed down in the family "by inheritance", from one vampire to another.

Psychologists divide psychological vampires into "solar" and "lunar". Some, for example, M. Litvak, distinguishes much more - this is both the “sweet-sounding siren” and the “eternal prince” ... but we will not bother and focus on the simplest classification.

"Solar" vampires

These people are quite active, sometimes even hyperactive, but often with some degree of aggression. They boil, they are like an unpredictable volcano, a bomb ready to explode every minute. Their way to get the necessary share of energy is to bring the “donor” out of a state of rest. Remarks that are not related to the case, insults, taunts, aptly thrown into the most painful place, accusation, threat - there can be many options!

Let's consider such a situation. An energy vampire with an urgent need to “feed off” finds himself in the line of supermarket buyers. There was a hitch near the cash desk - the cashier needs to change the tape in the machine that prints the check. The problem of a broken penny is not worth it and, most likely, will be solved in a minute or two, but the vampire will not miss his chance. He will scream about poor service, about the last time he takes purchases in this supermarket, will remember the unloved seller in the meat department and will definitely demand a manager. If the cashier “bites” and starts to defend himself, that's it, there is a donor! Now you can draw energy as much as you like. The same can be observed in any public place - the subway, the housing office, near the cafeteria at the university, in the queue of the cinema, the bank ...

Worse if you have to cooperate with such a person, and even worse if your boss is a vampire. But there is nothing worse than a "home" energy monster! All he needs is your emotions, and the stronger they are, the better.

"Lunar" vampire

The direct opposite of the explosive "solar" vampire. This is the type of whiner and crybaby. Their way of "feeding off" is to hook you up with pity or sympathy. They will tell you for hours about their failures, about where and how often they have pricks, they will remember those who mortally offended them, and this, no less, is 99% of their acquaintances! They are most often in a state of sluggish discontent, they like to savor unpleasant stories about illnesses, retell in detail the nasty things heard somewhere rumors. As soon as you were imbued with the deplorable situation of the interlocutor, only pity rattled in your trusting eyes, that's all - tons of energy can be pulled from you.

The "lunar" vampires have another way to feed on someone else's energy - this is to pull unpleasant memories from the donor, to hurt his pride with rumors of his own composition ... The person who "pecked" at the causticity himself will begin to lament and voluntarily give up his energy reserve.

How to defend yourself?

So, you carefully reviewed your surroundings and suddenly found a vampire. What to do? Not to sharpen, in fact, an aspen stake and not to make garlic amulets? No, everything is much simpler. The first thing to do is to realize that vampirism is not a strength, but a great weakness! Happy will not go to "steal" someone else's, even if it is easily accessible human energy. Realized? Now get out of the victim state and start managing the situation.

Indifference in this case is the most powerful weapon. Soon the vampire will realize that he will not be "fed" here and retires. But if you are very annoyed by attacks or whining and it is difficult for you not to react to it, apply the principles of depreciation from M. Litvak's "Psychological Aikido". That is, lean in the direction in which you are being pushed - cushion!

If the boss shouts that you are a fool, tell him that you more than agree with him. He will be confused, because he was hoping to get a negative reaction and, as a result, a portion of energy. And there is complete agreement! The main thing is that depreciation should be as sincere as possible! For instance:

Why didn't you submit your report on time? What do you do at your workplace? Am I supposed to push everyone in the back?

- Mikhail Fedorovich, you are more than right. This is so irresponsible of me, and I only have a couple of hours left to complete the report. But that doesn't justify me at all. You're right.

Turning off the whiner and crybaby is even easier, just start telling him about your problems. It doesn't matter what. Just try yourself in his role at least once. A vampire doesn't need another vampire, he needs a donor! But also very productive in this case is complete indifference.

I want to add to all of the above that anyone can be an energy vampire. To some extent, we ourselves, when we are looking for someone's support and pity, become vampires for a while. It is very important to realize this in time and switch to the energy of another source, for example, watch your favorite movie and lie in a hot foam bath with salt and oils ...

And further. Our friends unwittingly help us develop, make us better, but our enemies do the same, it's just that in their case everything happens harder and without our consent. After all, translated from the Old Slavonic "enemy" - pushing from the inside to the light! Therefore, thank all the enemies that make us stronger! And let there be more of them!

Psychological vampirism is not a new concept, but on the whole it is very vague and rather borrowed from esoteric literature. But really, how else to call people, after communicating with whom you feel such a breakdown and that it will take more than one day to recover? How to calculate such vampires and how to deal with them will be described in this article.

Signs of psychological vampirism

The famous psychotherapist M.E. Litvak wrote a book of the same name, in which he gave such a definition to the term "psychological vampirism" - this is the search for and use of people for their own protection and nourishment of their energy field. The author believes that there are several varieties of psychological vampires, here they are:

• blue Beard;
• helpless person;
• caring mother as a kind of psychological vampirism;
• cold woman;
• alcoholic;
• businesslike sufferer;
• Cinderella and the Princess and the Pea, etc.

It is easy to recognize in the surrounding people such a lover to feast on someone else's energy: it is enough to simply praise yourself in their presence. Not just to brag, but to celebrate real merit. The vampire will not miss such an opportunity and will immediately somehow caustically and insultingly comment on the words, trying to devalue the opponent's achievements. It is somehow not customary to talk about this, but psychological vampirism is also quite common in the family, when one of the household members constantly pesters others with some kind of reproaches, nit-picking, and most often insignificant.

How to fight?

The anatomy of the conflict of psychological vampirism is simple: the more the opponent becomes inflamed, the deeper he is drawn into the squabble, the more comfortable and one might even say happier the vampire feels. How to deal with such a person in the environment? The most harmless way is to reduce communication to zero. If contact is unavoidable, a technique called "psychological aikido" can be applied. Its essence is to agree with the vampire in everything and always say “yes” to him, thereby disarming him.

Well, the surest and most proven way is to be self-confident, not be led by some kind of vampire and be above them, pity these poor people, if possible. A constant increase in your self-esteem and work on your personal growth will be a guarantee that no one will even dare to approach such a person, let alone pump energy out of him.

Terrifying dead, rising from their graves and shedding blood, are described in all cultures, among all peoples inhabiting our vast planet.

They describe it differently in the legends: both the terrible dead, and quite sweet and pretty people, until they open their mouths and show their fangs.

From fairy tales, fiction, films, we know that classic vampires subtly charm the victim, trying to please her, and then attack and suck blood. Are there vampires in real life?

Blood-sucking vampires may exist, but there are more psychological vampires than we would like.

Where do vampires come from

Who are vampires? Where do they come from?

"Vampires from the Old Slavonic word vѫpyr, the Polish word wąpierz, are a mythological or folklore evil spirit that feeds on blood."

Psychological vampires do not feed on blood, they do not have fangs, they take energy and feed on it. A psychological vampire must also be able to find an approach to the victim, seduce, and then drink "blood", or rather energy. Probably, in the life of every person there is or was such a person, after communication with whom you feel devastated and powerless, as if you had drunk all the “blood”.

Psychologists believe that if you communicate with such a person for too long, you can get seriously ill. Where do they come from?

A colleague, a neighbor, and a friend can be a psychological vampire. How can you protect yourself from them if you simply can’t stop communicating? Turn to magicians or?

First of all, decide what type "your vampire" is, and then decide how to defend yourself. Psychological vampires are very sophisticated people, and they come in many different types.

"Bringer of Vengeance"

One of the most common types of psychological "bloodsuckers" is considered to be the "retribution-bearing" type. With such vampires, as a rule, we encounter at work. This can be a boss or any other person of a higher rank who performs supervisory functions. The vampire constantly demands the fulfillment of the daily routine, the fulfillment of duties. Needs, needs, needs...

One has only to make a mistake, as a psychological vampire is simply glad that he has waited for such a “gift of fate”, and like a predator pounces on the victim. He just revels in happiness.

It happens that the "bringer of retribution" chooses the most vulnerable person in the team and "drinks blood from him." A vampire humiliates, insults, and all this is public.

What to do if you become a victim of a "revenge bearer"? Be calm, restrained and polite. Even if you made a mistake or did something wrong.

Guilty - admit guilt, made a mistake, again,. This will knock the ground out from under the vampire's feet. The "revenge bearer" is waiting for embarrassment and fear, and if he does not receive this, he will fall behind you and switch to another.

Vampire "helpless"

There are people who like to complain, everything is wrong with them: everyone at work is bad, and no one understands at home, and their health fails. Constantly complaining about his problems, the "helpless" vampire drinks energy. How does this happen?

A vampire complains about his health, you advise him to go to the doctor, and in response he will give a thousand reasons why he cannot do this. He complains about the lack of money, about useful advice, again gives his arguments. You give advice, he comes up with tricks on how not to use them and finds convincing arguments. Satisfied, having drunk your "blood", he goes with his problems to others. And you have a feeling of emptiness and hopelessness.

What to do? How to deal with a "helpless" vampire? Do not regret and do not give advice - the best strategy of behavior. You can simply say to a complaint: “Yes, this is serious, I sympathize with you ...” and in that spirit. On the one hand, you sympathized with him, and on the other hand, you kept your “blood”. He is not going to solve his own problems, these are cleverly placed networks.

Vampire "Alcoholic"

Any person suffering from addiction can be an "Alcoholic" vampire. And not necessarily! It can be a drug addict, an Internet addict and.

Such a person is poorly adapted in life. Everyone revolves around him: mother, and wife, and sisters, and brothers. Everyone is trying to set him on the “true path”, trying to treat him, find him another hobby, a job ... And the vampire lies on his couch, drinks beer, smokes weed or plays, not realizing that he is seriously ill. He drinks energy from those around him and does not think about anything. Why should he think? For him relatives think!

How to deal with such a vampire? You can force him to solve all the problems himself, but alcoholism, drug addiction and gambling are very serious and these are family problems. Bans, leaving to the mercy of fate, this problem cannot be solved. It costs nothing for such a person to say goodbye to life at the slightest difficulty, and relatives will forever remain victims of a vampire, never forgiving themselves that they could not save their son, brother, husband.

It is necessary to fight with vampires like "Alcoholic" with the whole family, involving specialists, psychologists.

Vampire "Caring mother"

Vampire "Caring mother" - a special type of psychological vampirism. A mother always takes care of her child, such is nature, and rightly so. But there are, mind you, caring mothers who, as they say, “do not give a breath”. The mother is in total control, controlling every step. She considers her already adult child her property and does not let anyone near him.

All attempts by a son or daughter to embark on an independent path are immediately stopped, the vampire goes to any lengths to keep the child from herself. So overage children are left without their own family, and their own housing.

It is very difficult to fight such a vampire. The vampire "Caring mother" gave you life, raised you, raised you, did not sleep at night, this is not just a neighbor or colleague.

Only systematic work with a psychologist can resolve this situation, so that, as they say, "both the wolves were fed and the sheep were safe." It is necessary to find such a balance that the mother does not suffer, and the children do not rob themselves.

Weakness

There are many more types of psychological vampires, these are just the most characteristic ones. Recognizing a psychological vampire is not always possible. But, if you have a suspicion that they “drink blood” from you, then you have become a victim. The victims of psychological vampires, as a rule, are people who have a "weak spot", more precisely, a vulnerable one.

What to do? Find the threads that the vampire is pulling, put a "lock" on the "weak spot" and learn how to properly behave with psychological vampires, leaving them no chance.

See more

Hello Dear Readers. I am starting a series of articles on psychological vampires . You will learn what forms vampires take and how to fight them. The book of Mikhail Efimovich Litvak "Psychological Vampirism" was taken as the basis of the articles.

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Some vampires I've encountered in my life, some I haven't. About someone it will be written briefly, to someone I will devote separate articles. It should be understood that there is no mysticism in the word Vampire. They don't have fangs or claws. These are ordinary people (often the closest and dearest) who “due to” their psychologically illiterate behavior and communication cause irreparable harm, both to themselves and to other people (the so-called “donors”). After several rounds of vampirism, donors become patients or clients of neuropsychiatric dispensaries, hospitals, hospitals, or unsuccessfully go to somatic doctors with migraines, colds, gastritis, pain in the heart, endocrine system disorders and other diseases. After all, when does a person ask for help? When is he good or when is he bad? Of course, when it's bad. And when it’s good, he won’t even lift a finger.

Doctors give the patient medicines that temporarily help - alleviate or relieve symptoms. Alas, they treat the effects without touching the causes. However, if the donor is lucky, and he learns, successfully practicing his techniques on vampires, the latter becomes much worse. If vampires are smart people (unfortunately, this is not always the case), they will turn to you, my Dear Readers, for help and do not refuse it. Perhaps the vampires will be able to help.

If they do not apply, then most likely they will leave you alone and find new donors for their psychological games. It is their right, their decision and their life. The vampire should not be forced or coaxed into changing. Such a development of events may serve as an occasion for a new game, where the vampire will appear in a different guise and continue to draw vital juices from you. I follow Nietzsche's recommendation: "Love your neighbor" means, first of all, "Leave your neighbor alone."

So let's start with the description.

1) Helpless Personality. The most common type of psychological vampirism.

Plays the game "Why don't you? ..." - "Yes, but ...". What is the essence of the game, and how does it proceed? Helpless Personality (hereinafter LP) "consults" with his donors. But no matter how many donors fight, no matter how many there are, no matter how smart they are, they will not solve the problem, and the vampire will defeat them all. The pretext for asking for advice can be anything - from repairing an apartment to raising children and treating illnesses. At the level of consciousness along the line Adult - Adult, a request for information is made. At an unconscious (unconscious, psychological) level, the Child of the Vampire flirts with the Parents of the donors (hidden transaction D-R), draining energy from them. After all, it cannot be that the BL itself does not find out how to solve this problem. Therefore, a provocation is going on along the line of the Child - Parent in order to receive Parental Care (sympathy, "strokes") from donors. They are wasting their energy. And in order to replenish the Parent with energy, donors have to take it from their Child. When the Child is empty, then, naturally, there is a feeling of irritation. After all, our Child is our feelings (for more details, see the articles "" and ""). And feelings are closely connected with the activity of internal organs, here it is not far from illness.

Sooner or later, those who love to give advice, donors, get sick and go to the doctor. There they already act as vampires, asking the doctor for advice on how they can be cured.

The following example by Eric Berne, slightly tweaked by Mikhail Litvak, clearly demonstrates the mechanics of this game:
To BL, a pretty woman of 30-35 years old, her friends came, with whom she peacefully talks over a cup of tea.
BL (in a sad voice): Look at the state of my apartment! Urgent repair needed! I don't know what to do?
Donor A: Why don't you contact the Housing Office?
BL: Yes, but there are long queues, and the work there is bad!
Donor B.: Why don't you contact the cooperative?
BL: Yes, but they are very expensive there and have been cheating lately!
Donor V.: Why don't you force your husband to make repairs?
BL: Yes, but he doesn't have the time and we don't have the tools!
Donor G.: Why don't you buy the tools and still force your husband to do the repairs?
BL: Yes, but if he makes repairs, our ceilings will collapse in two weeks!

Game over! There is an awkward silence, and after a while the "Isn't that awful?" Entertainment begins. in the variant "These Wretched Husbands". BL received a lot of "pats" and left her advisers in the cold.

Didn't you, Dear Readers, also have to give advice, and good advice that was completely rejected, and in a barely restrained fury, you thought to yourself: "Well, he's mad with fat!"?

It doesn't occur to the vampire that she needs to change herself. Stop asking for advice, and learn to make decisions yourself, take responsibility for your life, do not be afraid to do stupid things and mistakes. After all, it is only thanks to the latter that we grow most intensively. Analyzing your own mistakes is the way to success.

So the victory of the vampire is peculiar. Tactically she won, strategically she lost.

There was a time when I often fell for Helpless Persons. Why didn't they ask me! How to treat colds, how to meet girls in minibuses, how to build a business, how to analyze the future profitability and profitability of an enterprise, how ... However, I could continue this list indefinitely. I noticed that no one had ever followed my recommendations, I was indignant internally and ... again gave out advice. By the way, Dante Alighieri in " Divine Comedy”placed the Sly Advisers in the 8th circle of the 8th ditch of hell. However, in the classification of Dante and Mikhail Efimovich, I climbed even further. Read more in the article: "".

Those who ask for Sly Advice and, thereby, provoking Sly Advisers, I would place immediately after the latter. In my opinion, they are committing an even graver sin.

And now a good example from my life:

I was on the phone with Vampire BL, a close friend of mine. Subject: Feeling unwell.
He: I have recently been very ill - I was lying with a temperature of under 39. What would you advise to raise immunity? I know you are an expert on this.
I, joyfully (already taking the bait): First, cure tonsils - gargle every 1-2 hours, lubricate it with Lugol solution 1-2 times a day for prevention, eat garlic, honey, lemon, do nasal and nasopharyngeal rinsing 2 once a day, clean the plaque from the tongue. Second, do yoga. (Here's how many tips at once; Yu.L.).
He (with sadness in his voice): This is all, of course, good, but I don’t have time to do all this.
Why me?
Him: I work hard, I get exhausted.
Me: Why don't you change jobs, or at least quit one of your jobs? (He worked at once at two, sometimes three jobs, where they paid a penny; Yu.L.).
Him: Yes, but I have to support my family!
Me: You have a main job that doesn't take much time. Why don't you find a second, promising and better paid than the two you work for now? And then I would switch to it, as to the main one. What is a bad option?
He: Nobody needs me there, the schedule doesn’t suit me, who will teach me there? (Defects in upbringing, resulting in a bad opinion of other people, make themselves felt; Yu.L.).
Me: Why don't you finally start working for yourself and in the field that you love so much? (Yes, and he is a good specialist; Yu.L.)
He: Yes, but you know how expensive it is to open an SPD. And without it, it's hard for me to work. What if it doesn't go? (Fears of the Child; fear of failure; self-doubt; Yu.L.).
Me: Talk to our mutual friend A. - he is just engaged in activities similar to yours and SPD is open with him.
He: Yes, but he earns little! It is almost profitable. Our state does not allow us to turn around. It infringes on our rights in every way! Just pay him taxes at half the salary! (Entertainment "Isn't it terrible" in the version of "Bad State"; Yu.L.).

What to do, you ask? The radical method is to get out of the game "Why don't you? ..." - "Yes, but ...". Stop giving advice - no one will ever follow it. Stop putting yourself in the position of the Parent, mentally emptying your Child! He clearly doesn't deserve it!

It is especially funny to me when they give advice on how to treat diseases, who to be and with whom to be. I recently witnessed the following dialogue between two elderly women:

A: My husband is seriously ill.
B: What?
A: They say obsessive-compulsive disorder. Even in the hospital lay - it did not help.
B: You have to do something to distract him. Listen, buy him interesting books and crossword puzzles.
Well, what can I say? If we were treating neuroses with crossword puzzles, B. should immediately be given the Nobel Prize.

Why is everyone so persistently asking (sometimes demanding) advice? The fact is that the adviser consults solely in order to relieve himself of responsibility for the decision made. You have to put the blame for the failure on someone.

It will be difficult at first to identify and neutralize BL. But after another sucking session, analyze your conversations. If you gave advice, then you fell into her network.

Here is how my further dialogues with BL proceeded:

He: I caught a cold.
Me: I sympathize.
Him: What do you recommend?
I have no idea. My spine hurts for a week.

And here is an example of a defensive-attacking, where the donor and the vampire change places:

Him: What would you advise me about changing jobs?
Me: What can I advise you? At least you are working, and I am sitting without a job at all!
He: Why don't you get a job with me for a penny?
Me: Yes, but I don't like your work, and I don't want a penny.

Dear Readers, with such Psychological Vampires , as a Caring Mother and a Cold Woman, you can get acquainted in the articles "" and "".

Those who can get acquainted with my services in the articles "" and "".

Thanks to fashionable books and films - we know almost everything about ordinary vampires, ghouls and ghouls. Fortunately, so far they are found only where the authors and directors placed them. But there are still other varieties of evil spirits - energy and psychological vampires. How to be with them? Especially since they just roam among us ...

Faces and masks of psychological vampires

Like the insatiable Romanian blood-drinking count, psychological vampires tirelessly suck out the psychic juices of those around them: relatives, colleagues, friends, casual acquaintances, complete strangers, the first people they meet ... They do this completely unconsciously, of course, they don’t consider themselves vampires, but "spoil blood" can be a lot. In order not to fall into the clutches of insidious psychological ghouls and avoid the fate of the donor, first of all, you need to learn to distinguish villains from respectable citizens. What are we going to do now.

According to legend, vampires can perfectly turn into bats, wolves, foxes, birds and even a cloud of steam, they can easily bewitch with their voice and hypnotize with their eyes that you yourself will not notice how you expose your neck for a bite. Their psychological relatives are also great masters of disguise and disguise. No, there are, of course, those who "vampire" openly, but often there are those who are not at all suspected of bloodthirsty inclinations.

Aggressive Tyrants

These monsters don't even disguise themselves. Humiliating, teaching, criticizing, insulting others, trying to hurt harder and hurt harder, they in every possible way provoke others into an open conflict. Their goal is to unbalance a person, spoil the mood, and only then "drink his blood", recharge with vital energy. After that, the tyrant feels very good for some time.

Tormenting others is their vital necessity, a need that they constantly strive to fulfill, because only by humiliating others, such people rise themselves, feel strong and significant, great and powerful. In a word, live.

Where do they come from

Such people acquire their abilities, as a rule, in childhood. Everyone knows that any child needs parental attention and warmth: bedtime stories and lullabies, joint walks, interesting activities and games. Getting no attention mothers and dads, experiencing an acute lack of warm feelings on their part, constantly hearing "I have no time!" and "Leave me alone!", a small person is simply forced to provoke conflicts with his parents in order to capture their attention at least in this way. And it turns out that only by turning over a plate of porridge at breakfast or giving out in the presence of guests all the stock of "bad" words acquired in kindergarten, he gets exactly what he wanted - parents begin to somehow react to him. Mom and dad break down and lose their temper, and the child, oddly enough, calms down - he recharged.

It is from these neglected children that our today's heroes grow up - aggressive vampire tyrants who have learned from childhood: "To achieve something, you need to provoke a scandal." The conflict environment serves as a source of energy for them.

"The Sufferers"

If the Aggressive Tyrant is visible from a mile away, then these "bloodsuckers" are carefully disguised.

They can appear to us in the form of eternal "sick" people, in dire need of our active participation; cute, but very unhappy co-workers who like to cry into their vests; "poor" relatives, helpless and unsettled (they can't do without you), and other "humiliated" and "insulted".

These psychological vampires do their dirty work on the sly, drawing vital energy silently and imperceptibly. Far from immediately, in a poor, shy loser, one manages to discern the bloodthirsty descendant of Count Dracula.

Imaginary patients deserve special words, relishing the details of their "severe and prolonged illnesses" with sadistic refinement. They achieve everything they need by "getting sick", manipulating human compassion. Very often they are found among elderly parents who, not wanting to let their overage children go “free swimming”, into adulthood, portray, in which case, a heart attack or are said to be terminally ill.

Where do they come from

Just like with Aggressive Tyrants, the way of life of the "Sufferers" was born in their childhood. Someone, realizing what pleasant benefits the disease gives them (and the control one can be avoided, and at home surrounded by increased attention), takes into service such a way of avoiding problems and achieving goals as speculation with one's ill health.

And someone thinks that, pretending to be poor and unhappy, in need of someone else's advice and participation, you can easily shift the solution of your problems (and hence responsibility) to another person. You just need to complain more to others about your bitter fate, and then more often loom before their eyes, glancing with mute reproach. When the victim, full of sympathy and guilt, reacts sharply and violently to their "misfortunes", the "Suffering" vampires feed on her energy.

"Aspen stake" for a psychological vampire

It is best, of course, to bypass such people or, if possible, reduce communication with them to a minimum. If this is completely unrealistic, then you should remember that:

If you are faced with the rudeness of the Aggressive Tyrant, do not forget that in fact his attacks are not directed against you personally. It's just that you are dealing with a very unhappy person in his own way, who deep down feels his inferiority, and who does not know how to assert himself in any other way than at the expense of others.

Treat him calmly and ironically, as if he were a patient. Don't forget about Murphy's Law, which says: "Never argue with a fool - people may not notice the difference between you."

Remember that by reacting to the provocations of the aggressor vampire and entering into conflict with him, you give him the opportunity to recharge by drinking your vital juices - and this is all he needs.

Having failed to get the expected reaction from you and realizing that he has nothing to profit from here, the Aggressive Tyrant himself will lose interest in you, switching to another victim.

If you are haunted by the sticky "Sufferer", demanding constant participation in his fate, think about it: is your contribution to the relationship the same as him? And shouldn't friends give each other equal attention, care, help and participation? Don't you think that a friend, if he values ​​\u200b\u200bfriendship, will turn to you for help when it is really needed? In contrast to a professional sufferer with the habits of a vampire, "loading" with his problems all the time?

You can ward off the "Sufferer" vampire from yourself by learning to firmly say "No!" and keeping a distance in relations with him.

Do not go into the details of his personal life, ignore his complaints. And it is better to send an imaginary patient for a medical examination - there he belongs. Keep your life energy to yourself, it will still be useful to you.

Actually, between us, psychological vampirism is inherent, one way or another, to all people.

Who among us has never asserted himself at the expense of another or acted as a whiner, terrorizing loved ones? So "we all vampire a little, someone and somehow." It's all about degree. If you notice that lately acquaintances, barely seeing you, cross to the other side of the street, and colleagues scatter to their offices when you appear, take a look in the mirror. What if you don't cast shadows?

Comment on the article "What Psychological Vampires Need"

all children, without exception, are initially vampires, they simply do not know how to recover yet, they vampired their mother for 9 months, and after birth, my daughter is the same little vampire baby, but I am even more of a vampire and have long learned to control the release and intake of energy.

Discussion

Also one vampire. I had a feeling that he could swallow everything without a trace and still remain hungry. Over time, it began to fade away, and then the return began. Now, in terms of behavior, he is a difficult child. next to me, just like a soft pillow. I feel so comfortable with him. Even of all the children, I only loved sleeping with him and got enough sleep. It’s a pity that I already grew up. for a little bit. Even for this, I took a nanny for a couple of hours a week. I went to study for a second higher education. I love to study. And of course, joint trips to the Temple. I go and take communion. Who else would have pushed me to go there? Otherwise, life is completely jammed.

It is worth starting to take the failures of the child to heart, forces are depleted quickly. It’s worth stepping back a little - like a teacher in a lesson, it’s immediately easier.

baby vampire. Upbringing. Adoption. Discussion of adoption issues, forms of placing children in families, raising foster children, interaction with guardianship, teaching foster parents at school. I don't know what to do, but it's not a vampire.

Discussion

They wrote a lot, but nothing on the case - both those who sympathize and those who condemn.
I will say to supporters of the theory of energy interactions that at first the child knocked out electrical appliances to death, even sockets - everything was seething in him. Now at least the electrician does not suffer. He does not bring me to a headache, but rather to emotional discord - with close communication, I begin to resonate with his constant internal dissonance. The result is the same as with vampirism - a decrease in efficiency. For example, in order to wash the windows, I am waiting for the elder to go to the camp, with him at my side I am not capable of such feats. (By the way, he already washed the windows himself, only after that they became even more cloudy than they were before).
The child has a very positive attitude towards the camps, including because there is where to show off talents (play the guitar to applause), jump in the disco. I deal with and communicate with the child a lot, but I believe that I am not obliged to devote ALL my time and ALL my strength to him. Yes, unkind, I give him affection as much as I can. The younger one is also not caressed, but this does not prevent him from periodically withdrawing into himself, and if he pulls me, then only on business: "Mom, how to draw this ...", "What is written here? (in small print next to the picture you like ) "It's a pleasure to answer such" jerks ", no tension. As a result, in two years he moved from awkward hooks on paper to complex multi-figure plot compositions. My merit is practically none, I just answered his questions and requests.
And when they pull around idle, just like that - the roof goes.
At the computer, I don’t sit on the Internet (if I look into the conf, then only here), but I work, including on weekends. Or rather, it is on weekends that I do most of the creative work that I cannot do in the office.
They ask why the older one gets me when he watches TV. Because he can't watch it silently, for the life of me. Like a character from "Our Rush" who talks to the TV. In short, in the entire branch, I have not yet met constructive proposals. Maybe someone has a smart idea? I believe that it is necessary to somehow teach the child to be alone with himself, but how and where is this taught?

05/31/2010 02:32:34 PM, hide-1

Discussion

I can only write about myself personally, but my ending is unsuccessful, he already lives happily on the other side and throws tantrums there. your nerves and tears, that’s all. You are calm, you endure, you hold on, then it will still bring you to the point of complete pissing, tears and shaking immediately calms down. And then all my nerves are reflected on the child. and the person really feeds on your tears and energy. That is, instead of helping me raise my daughter, he drew attention to himself with psychosis, i.e. I had two children, a big one and a small one. It got to the point that I didn’t want to go home from work. Thank God, everything is over. Good luck to you.

once every 3 months this is nonsense :) every month I have such a state, though I don’t try to “bring anyone down”, but I warn you right away - don’t touch me! then everyone remains alive and well :) Can you talk to him and ask him to warn you about this condition? I immediately tell my own, they say, if someone somewhere “twisted your tail”, then we are not to blame, he calms down a little, sometimes he can explain the reason for his irritation, sometimes not, typical PMS :)

I know a very good book about energy vampires, without any populism, called "Energy Vampirism Energy Vampires. I will say right away that I never believed and did not study theories about the evil eye, damage, energy vampires, karma ...

Discussion

Mentally stick to the setup: Thank you, I don't need this. (in the sense of any nonsense that they are trying to hang).

01/05/2006 23:42:35, sometimes

Perceive it not as a person who has something to do with you, but as a function. If it starts to get annoying, remind yourself: "this is not my family (friend, close person), but (substitute what he is)". This is a client (colleague, neighbor, distant relative), a periodically emerging part of the landscape that requires certain actions. When actions end, communication and thoughts about it end.
Some of these people can be "de-vamped", but this is best done only after a long and careful observation, and only if it makes sense to you.

Vampires :) Or: (Do you believe in energy vampirism? So I know that I get turned on, for example, by telling me what kind of child I really am? Oh, it would be necessary to correct something in the definition of vampirism ... Somehow unscientific it turns out: it takes good energy, you bastard ...

Discussion

No, it seems to me that you are driven. This happens when there are too many obligations that include emotions. When a husband presses and demands, parents press and demand everything urgently and now, at work they want urgent results ... There is simply no mental strength for a child. And you spit on everything else. Parents and husband will wait, get indignant and calm down .. At work, at least, so as not to sit in a puddle at all ... And think about how lucky you are that you have a child at all .. and almost any problems are nonsense, compared with the fact that a child with such an attitude of the mother will soon have some kind of neurological diagnosis. You owe it to him first, and then to everyone else. Don't put him last in line for your attention. When she reaches him, attention is over. Remove half the load and learn how to live like that. Healthy indifference to everything ... and even if there is less money, you will still spend it on neuropathologists at such a pace. I know very well what I'm talking about .. when I had 2 jobs and studies, plus a nightmarish relationship with my parents, who demanded a constant stream of gratitude from my side, I also perceived my son, he just terribly prevented me from paying all my obligations. What other son ... fed, put into bed .. what the hell does he need from me? Now I spat on everything ... I look at the facial features, cilia, whirlwinds of my child .. just my heart stops with happiness ...

We also had this. Some internal problems begin to worsen in my daughter, she throws a tantrum. We dance around, then we don't dance, then we dance again. In general, when enough energy is drained from those around her, she calms down.
With age, almost gone :)

Vampires :) Or: (. A serious question. About her, about a girl's. Discussion of questions about a woman's life in the family, at work, relationships with men. Do you believe in energy vampirism? I don’t. But I don’t know the exact psychological term for this phenomenon.

Discussion

thanks to all! Interesting and helpful. Unfortunately, I cannot participate. But I read with interest, followed the links. :)

09/14/2005 11:22:47 AM, author

I learned to "close up", there are no such "vampires" in my family, we are rather "donors", but there are in my husband's family. When, when communicating with a person, you do not “pass” his words through yourself, then, firstly, it is impossible for him to “hurt” you and “get you crazy”, therefore, he is not interested in doing this with you. Another thing is that some "donors" do not want to "close", well, these are their problems, maybe they get masochistic pleasure from this? At the expense of a child, especially a small one, it is more difficult, we just had to reduce communication to a minimum.

Energy vampires .. - gatherings. About his own, about a girl's. Discussion of questions about the life of a woman in the family, at work, relationships with But from my two-year practice of communicating with a powerful vampire in the person of my grandmother who fell into insanity, it formed in me completely ...

Energy vampirism. The only thing that seems to me is to really avoid communicating with energy vampires, but in yours I sometimes get the impression that my husband is an energy vampire. If the husband in a normal voice asks what it was, explain ...

Discussion

In my opinion, my husband is really pissed off with fat. And it seems to me that something needs to be done so that he stops these bullying. Maybe as soon as he starts this burden of his in a new way to go to sleep? Or take a bath and relax?

And I am amazed at your patience ... Maybe this is the female wisdom to forgive and endure all this?

You underestimated him - he is not a mmasochist, he is a sadist! Normal spouses try to protect each other from a rash act that will have a bad effect on the atmosphere of the family, and he pushes you to do it. And in general, my opinion is that he doesn’t give a damn (forgive the expression), but you still consider yourself not prominent, and so on, but a woman with 5 children is needed if she is confident in herself.

From this point of view, your anxiety makes you quite vulnerable not so much to the vampire as to your own fears.
A healthy child is great at sharing his energy with grandparents, but can become vulnerable if the mother is very worried about this.
In any case, carefully observe: if the child does not feel bad from communicating with his grandmother, and her "vampiric" tricks are visible only to you, then you should calm down.
If the child, being alone with his grandmother, then feels bad (precisely from communication with her, and not from your anxiety), then it’s worth meeting only on holidays so far, and it’s completely impossible when the child is sick ...

Limit contact time if possible. I don't know any other way :)

What Psychic Vampires Need. The child is an energy vampire. It happens? all children, without exception, are initially vampires, they simply do not know how to recover yet, they vampired their mother for 9 months, and after that they are vampires?...