A cemetery is a sacred place for which there are special norms. According to church tradition, temples are decorated only with fresh flowers, and the same should be done with burial places. Fresh flowers are not just an element of decor, they are an object created by God himself. But do not forget that such flowers, like any living creature, require care and attention. Few can afford to decorate the grave with cut flowers, and then go to the cemetery to change the water, put fresh buds. These disadvantages are not less beautiful, but much more practical, easy to transport and inexpensive.

There are special rules of conduct for the cemetery. They are referred to as workers digging graves - they must abide by the rules of funeral etiquette and have neat uniforms. There are many requirements for the visitors themselves - they must be sober and not drink alcohol in the cemetery, it is forbidden to vandalize, make noise and disturb order. The cemeteries are not suitable for walking dogs, grazing livestock, catching birds, skiing, biking or snowmobiling. It is forbidden to make fires, enter the cemetery by car, if you do not drive the elderly or disabled to the grave.

After the burial of a person has passed, another, no less important stage begins - the arrangement of the burial place. According to Christian traditions, relatives of up to three generations are supposed to look after the grave. But there is also the main person who is recorded in the documents as the person responsible for the grave or niche of the columbarium. It is on him that the regular supervision of the grave is officially laid, keeping it clean and timely repair of the grave structures.

Caring for a new grave

In the first year, you will have to take care of the land on the grave (it tends to overgrow very quickly) and the temporary monument. While the soil subsides, it is not recommended to erect massive grave structures, because this threatens their destruction. The earth will collapse during the year, so you need to stock up on a shovel and a new portion of soil to correct the grave mound. By the way, a shovel, rake and other household equipment should be issued by the cemetery administration free of charge.

After the body is buried, the grave is decorated with wreaths or bouquets in vases. After a few days, the fresh flowers will wither and will give the grave a derelict appearance, so it is worthwhile to come and remove them. Artificial wreaths can lie on the grave longer, but under the open sky and they tend to lose their decorative effect and turn into garbage that must be removed from the grave.

Maintenance of the monument

After burial, it is necessary to monitor the condition of the temporary grave structure - most often, it is a wooden cross, erected until the moment the soil subsides. Most of all, the burial mound loses its shape during the first year, so many erect a monument already on the anniversary of death, if weather conditions permit. But the earth will sink further - it takes two or three years for the coffin boards to collapse and allow the earth to fill the voids. It is forbidden to erect tombstones in winter, and in central Russia this time lasts approximately from October 15 to May 15. You must inform the cemetery administration of your intention to install or remodel the tombstone.

If you plan to erect a monument a year after the funeral has passed, it is better to plant annual plants on free land. Flowers should be undemanding to watering and lighting, because you will not be able to care for them on a daily basis. You can plant several different types of plants so that they bloom at different times, then the grave will always have an elegant look.

What flowers to plant in the cemetery

If you plan to erect a monument only in the distant future, plant the grave with perennials. Chrysanthemums, lilies, echinacea, daffodil, iris, periwinkle and others will do. Try to plant undersized flowers that form a living carpet, or place bunches of flowers more densely to keep weeds from overgrowing. There will be a lot of plants, so don't forget about the budget and the fact that expensive bulbs can be dug up, and rare flowers will bloom on the grave of a completely unknown person.

If you want a birch tree to decorate the grave, according to Russian tradition, give preference to slow-growing decorative varieties. Many people prefer to decorate the grave with thujas, aspens, and juniper. Over time, growing, the tree can pose a threat to the monuments installed in the cemetery and people who come to it. The best distance to the grave is considered to be at least 5 meters. Do not forget that you can plant trees on the grave only with the permission of the cemetery administration, in accordance with the project of its landscaping. The fence on the grave must comply with the rules, be low, without sharp parts. To install it, you can also drive into the territory by car.

For violation of the rules of conduct at the cemetery, administrative penalties and fines are provided. The theft of ritual attributes and other items from burial sites is subject to criminal liability. And a few years ago, it was proposed to introduce punishment for the lack of care for graves - if you do not cut the grass and remove fallen leaves at least once a year, and the grave monument rusted or bent heavily - it was proposed to dig up the body and cremate it, and use the grave again.

Signs portending a quick death

In Russia, it is customary to associate the souls of the dead with birds and animals. It is believed that the soul of a close relative is capable of transforming into a bird or an animal, which, as it were, warns the living members of its family of impending disaster. If the bird sits down and knocks on the window, then expect bad news about the death or serious illness of a loved one. Also, people in Russia believe that after death the soul of the deceased can enter the body of a dog or cat and come to his home in order to stay at least a little longer with his family.

If there is a seriously ill person in the house and his facial features began to sharpen during his lifetime and his nose became cold, then this means that he will soon. It is believed that Death came very close to him and pulls him by the nose into the other world.

A sharp improvement in the well-being of a dying person is also considered a bad sign. As they say: "Before death, the patient felt better." There are many cases when a practically dying person literally a day before his death felt relief, he even had an appetite, and he began to move around the house on his own. However, at night he became very ill and died.

Another, which portends a quick death: if a dying person suddenly begins to flinch, then it is believed that Death itself begins to look him in the eye.

If the patient begins to collect the sheets in a fist or make such movements as if he is collecting something from his body (people say “picking up”), then these signs also portend his imminent death.

Funeral signs

If in the house, then all there immediately need to hang all the mirrors. It is believed that the soul of the deceased can accidentally get into the looking glass, from where there is no way out. The mirrors are kept hung for forty days. After this period, the soul of the deceased finally passes into the afterlife and the mirrors can already be opened. There are many chilling stories about what can happen if this ritual is not followed. Oddly enough, but even hardened atheists for the most part still hang mirrors if someone close to them dies in their house.

In the room where the coffin with the body of the deceased stands, all doors and vents are closed and pets are not allowed into this room. If a cat jumps on a coffin with a body, then this is considered a very bad sign, and a dog with its barking and howling can frighten the soul of the deceased, which for three days after death is next to its lifeless body.

For forty days after death, a cup of water is placed in the house of the deceased, and a cotton towel is hung outside. It is believed that the shower comes into the house, drinks water and wipes it off with a towel. There are many cases when the water in the cup, left overnight, miraculously disappeared.

It is considered a very bad sign if your eyes suddenly open. People say that soon there will be another death in this family. As if the deceased is looking out for a fellow traveler to the next world.

Signs associated with the coffin and belongings of the deceased

You cannot hammer the lid of a coffin in the house. This could portend another death. After the coffin has been taken out of the house, it is necessary to sweep and wash the floors; after washing, it is better to discard the broom, rags and the bucket. It is believed that in a similar way, death is washed out of all corners. This superstition is firmly connected with another sign: when someone leaves on a business trip or on a trip, it is recommended, on the contrary, not to wash or sweep the floors during the day.

If it turned out that the coffin was large for the deceased, then another death should be expected soon.

Relatives accidentally bought extra items for the funeral ritual - this is also a very bad omen. In no case should such things be left at home - they need to be put in the coffin of the deceased so that he can take them with him to the grave.

Signs associated with the cemetery and the grave

It so happens that the coffin does not fit into the dug grave. This sign suggests that someone else will die soon. They also say: "the earth does not accept him." There was a case when the deceased bequeathed to bury him next to his parents, but, for a number of reasons, the relatives did not succeed in fulfilling this last wish of a deceased loved one. He was buried in a new cemetery, where graves were dug with the help of special equipment. When the funeral procession arrived at the cemetery, it turned out that the grave was too small for a coffin, and the gravediggers had to expand it manually. The relatives of the deceased then discussed this incident for a long time and blamed themselves for not being able to fulfill the last will of their deceased relative.

It's also bad if the grave starts to collapse. This, too, could mean another death in the house.

What to do if you meet a funeral procession

If you are walking down the street and have met a funeral procession, then you should absolutely not cross its path. Also, you cannot drive the hearse by car. Taxi drivers and professional drivers strongly believe in this sign.

You cannot watch the funeral from the window. If a coffin is being carried past the windows, then it is best to wake up all the sleeping household members at that moment. It is believed that the deceased can take with him all those who are sleeping at that moment.

What is the correct way to visit a cemetery? A question that worries many relatives of deceased people.

It turns out that in the old days there were beliefs that our great-grandmothers still adhered to.

Traditionally, many superstitions are associated with cemeteries, which, by the way, are not groundless. Signs on the graveyard can warn of an impending danger, therefore, burials should be visited with the utmost care. And the signs seen at the resting places should be treated carefully.
First of all, you need to remember - in no case should you disturb the dead, this will entail trouble. You shouldn't come to them empty-handed either, bring sweets that you will leave on the grave.

In order not to "pick up" misfortunes and troubles from the cemetery into the house, psychics advise to adhere to simple rules of behavior.

Alexander Zhukov, psychic: “The very first thing - you need to enter the cemetery correctly, so as not to leave your luck and happiness there, and most importantly, to“ catch ”various diseases.
It is imperative to enter the cemetery with open hands., if you are carrying a bag, you cannot clamp it in the palm of your hand. Hang over the arm so that all fingers and hands are exposed.
This is done in order not to bring anything with you, namely the good that is in your life today. "

At the same time, one should not forget about what can and cannot be said at resting places. You can share your experiences with deceased relatives, but not complain, but rather share. but words should not cause envy or excessive pity: in one, and in another case, the victims can "take" you to their place.
Remember to afford you can only be open with the relative whom you trusted during your lifetime and with whom they were close.

There is such a sign: Whatever good you say at the grave, it will remain on it. A phrase like: "I feel so bad, I want to die ..." - can become fatal. The cemetery spirits might interpret this as a call to action.

In addition, do not forget that not everyone can talk with the dead, as well as come to the cemetery.

Alexander Zhukov, psychic: “I'll tell you right away - pregnant women are not allowed in the cemetery! Not for the funeral, not for the parent's day. Generally not. According to the signs, the following events may occur:

The souls of the dead will take the soul of the unborn baby with them;
... someone else's soul can settle in an unborn child.

This sign has been preserved for a long time and was associated with high infant mortality and the risk of difficult childbirth in pregnant women. Now this sign is not so relevant, so treat it wisely.
If a pregnant woman needs to say goodbye to the deceased, or visit the graves of relatives at the call of her heart, then she must wear something red, tie her hand with red thread, or keep a piece of red cloth in her pocket.

And by no means children under 12 cannot be brought to the cemetery... This is very dangerous for the health of the child and his future. You can completely change the fate of a child ”! From a mystical point of view, the aura of children is very weak, and it is difficult for children to protect themselves from the penetration of negative energy.

It is forbidden coming to the funeral to say goodbye to one person, visit at the same time the graves of other people resting nearby.

Violation of at least one of the rules can lead to the attraction of a large amount of negative information, which, like a weight, will pull you to the ground.

Cemetery visit for commemoration

Undoubtedly, to pay the last debt to the deceased and honor his memory by being present at the burial is an indicator of the moral and ethical standards prescribed by society.

The cemetery is a special place. The world of the living and the world of the dead "unite" on it... Therefore, it is necessary to treat him with respect and observe certain signs and rules of behavior so as not to anger the dead and not pay for your disrespect.

❧ To visit the cemetery, you need to carefully prepare, paying special attention to your clothes. The traditional colors are white and black. Most of all black is suitable for a cemetery, since it is considered mourning, a color symbolizing sorrow. If your wardrobe does not have items of suitable colors, you should choose clothes in muted tones.

❧ Legs must be covered. It is unacceptable to walk in the cemetery in open sandals or high-heeled shoes. A graveyard is a place of accumulation of "dead" energy, the earth is especially strongly saturated with it. There is a saying: the dead pulls the living. It can be regarded as a warning - cemetery land, getting on bare skin, negatively affects a person. First of all, the negative impact affects his health.

❧ At the cemetery before noon, in the afternoon at the church... It is better to visit deceased relatives before lunch, otherwise the spirits can play a trick on those who came in the afternoon.

❧ You can't swear in the cemetery - all the swearing will remain on you... It's really, really. All the bad things that are said in the cemetery fall on the shoulders of the one who spoke out. There can't even be other options here. In a cemetery, you need to be especially careful both in statements and in deeds. In general, being in a cemetery, you need to be very careful. Attentiveness and politeness are qualities that the departed greatly value. This is the very case when the thought that life does not end after death has a special meaning. Therefore, it is necessary to show respect for those who have already left, otherwise they may punish.

❧ If you bring a beautiful bouquet - this is great, just do not neglect the recommendation to bring an even number of colors.
Throwing out wilted flowers, you should replace them with new ones and explain to the deceased why this is done.

❧ If, when planting flowers, digging at the grave some strange things came to light, foreign objects, you need to take them out of the cemetery and throw them away. Ideally, burn, being careful not to get caught in the smoke.
The things that are on the graves could have been left by sorcerers who cause damage. Taking such an object, a person takes part of the damage on himself.

❧ A week after Easter, it is customary to come to the cemetery to commemorate relatives and friends. Eating in the cemetery, or, which is very common among the Slavs, drinking strong (alcoholic) drinks is also prohibited.
Negative energy accumulates in the cemetery, this place does not dispose to fun, people come here with grief. Food absorbs all of this, and after eating you can feel unhealthy.
The Christian church also insists on not having a commemoration at the cemetery. Trizna in the cemetery came from pagan times, when, after burial, funeral rites were performed on the mounds. Christianity does not support the tradition of paganism. Although controversy about this custom is still conducted by theorists of the church.
It is better to distribute alms to the poor and visit the temple, order a memorial service for the deceased - this way of honoring the dead is more acceptable and spiritually useful.

❧ If you still adhere to the tradition of commemorating the deceased with a glass of vodka at the grave, then remember only good things about them and drink without clinking glasses, so as not to transfer trouble from one house to another.

Signs in the cemetery

There are many signs about a cemetery. Even people who are deeply indifferent to superstitions try to adhere to them. This is the place. No one knows what the world of the dead can bring, so it is better to pay attention to the signs.

❧ Grave Defilers, cemetery thieves, will face a sad fate, for they are pursued by an evil fate.

❧ Stumble across the graveyard- not good. It’s even worse to fall. Signs are advised to immediately leave the cemetery, wash with holy water, cross and read the prayer "Our Father" three times.
Believe me, it doesn't matter to your soul where you remember her - in a cemetery or in a temple, or in a conversation with your family. The main thing is that you are sincere and that these memories have a bright, kind shade.

❧ As already mentioned, there is a superstition that in the cemetery you can not talk about the successes and achievements of your life and not to leave everything here.

❧ Also not allowed to count money in the cemetery otherwise you might not see them again. If a bill was taken out of a wallet, or, in general, fell to the ground, it must be left on the grave of a relative or namesake in order to buy off possible poverty and premature death.

❧ Basically, any thing that falls on the cemetery ground no longer belongs to its living owner. It should not be lifted. If the thing is really necessary, you need to leave the mercy of the deceased and the owner of the cemetery - a bottle of vodka and sweets.

❧ From the cemetery by no means you can not bring home any things(this does not apply to sweets that children collect, since they remember all the dead with them). This will harm the person who took the things and the people who used them.
Do not take anything from the cemetery or bring it into the house, no matter how valuable it is. According to signs, you will take it away from the dead, and they will punish you with troubles and diseases.
This thing can harm not only the one who brought this thing home from the cemetery, but also any other person who picks it up.

Important! Handkerchiefs with tears are also thrown during the funeral, burying the grave; they cannot be taken out of the cemetery!

❧ Do not take pictures in the cemetery; you will remain surrounded by negative energy in the picture, and who knows how this will affect your destiny.
Taking pictures against the backdrop of many graves, you capture the invisible world of the spirits of the departed and otherworldly entities, which later will easily find their way to your home.

Broken headstone sign

❧ A monument or a cross fell for no reason, which means that the soul of the deceased has not completed the important matters for her, something is bothering her.

There are also forgotten, outdated signs, which are believed only in the outback, in villages, where modern customs have not yet reached. So, a sign of a broken tombstone a priori cannot promise anything pleasant and kind. If the monument deteriorated without human intervention, and did not suffer at the hands of vandals and marauders, then there will be another deceased in the family of the deceased in the near future.

It doesn't matter what damage the burial site received: whether the cross just broke, the tombstone or the pedestal itself cracked, or the earth sank and a deep hole formed - each change threatens the relatives of the person lying here with another death. You can understand to whom the old woman with a scythe will look next time, having determined from which side the earth has collapsed:

• from the southern side - a man will die;
• the north side "fell" - a woman will die;
• the eastern edge has subsided - an elderly family member will die;
• from the western side the earth is gone - death will take a small child.

❧ Suicides can be remembered only when the bird pecks the grain scattered on their graves... A few wheat grains are poured onto the grave of the suicide and they look from afar: if the bird does not peck those grains, then there is no need to commemorate the deceased, except for Saturdays to Dmitriev and All Saints.

❧ If you know you will visit a cemetery, take water with you, and when leaving, be sure to wash your hands and face, to remove negative energy.

❧ You should not drink water that flows in the plumbing system located in the cemetery. It is used only for cleaning graves and monuments. Water for drinking should be stocked at home, before visiting the cemetery.

❧ Make sure you leave so that you don't forget anything in the cemetery, forgotten things are spoiled.

❧ Always leave the cemetery the way you came. But when visiting the deceased, it is better to choose different roads, at least bypass your own street and go to the house from the other side.

❧ Leaving the cemetery, you cannot look back, even if you are called or called. It is believed that the dead souls wander among the graves and do not realize that they no longer have a place in the world of the living. When a person turns around, a departed soul can perceive this as an invitation to go after a living person. As a result, a visitor to the churchyard will bring a deceased person to his house, who can cause a lot of trouble for the inhabitants of the house.

❧ Also, signs say that after visiting the cemetery it is important to dry your feet thoroughly, so as not to bring home the cemetery land. This land can cause a lot of health problems, it carries bad energy.

❧ After leaving the cemetery and coming home, it is important to properly warm your hands (even if you are not cold)- hold in hot water, over fire.
It is best to light a church candle with matches (only with them) and warm your hands over it. Bring the palms of your hands as close over the candle fire as you can tolerate. Move and "burn" in this way the entire area of ​​the palms and fingers.
After that, the candle can not be blown out, gently extinguish it with your fingers. This is done in order not to bring death into the house, not to drag it over, not to get sick.

❧ You must not visit anyone from the funeral- bring death to the house of the person you visited. But it is advisable to wrap up somewhere in a public place before returning home. It is believed that the tradition of commemoration in a cafeteria or cafe is a consequence of this sign.

Cat in the cemetery

It has long been known that the dead are able to transmit information through various animals: birds, cats, dogs. No wonder birds in the old days were considered the embodiment of souls that had lost their human bodies. But the birds flying over the churchyard or the house where the deceased lies are not as dangerous as the cat, which, remember, was considered a mythical, sacred animal even among the ancient Egyptians.

In the dwelling where the death occurred, the pets were immediately removed, isolated - so that the spirit of the deceased would not settle down to his pet.

The appearance of a cat at a cemetery is interpreted as follows:

• if the cat lies on the grave or walks nearby, try to leave this place - most likely, there is a strong anomalous zone that destroys the human aura;
• if the cat is black, then perhaps the witch went out for a walk, or it is the rushing soul of a sinner;
• white cat - the soul of a righteous man who has not finished his journey on earth, warns of impending danger or illness;
• if the cat just slipped past you into the cemetery - be calm - it's just someone's spirit came to look at a new friend, that is, at the one who is being buried.

In any case, treat the cat with respect - do not hit or drive it away, it is better to distract it from yourself (if it is tied to you) with some gift.

❧ A good sign for a deceased person and his relatives is finding in the prepared grave of an old, earlier burial with whole bones. An old belief says that the deceased in the afterlife will find consolation and will not bother his relatives, appearing to them in dreams and hallucinations.

Numerous omens and superstitions to the people present at the cemetery are full of secrets that the souls of the dead want to convey to them. You may have seen, being at the burial ceremony of someone close, how the astral body leaves the corporeal shell that has become unnecessary. This happens at the moment when the first handful of earth touches the lid of the coffin. According to the sign, the soul takes off either laughing, or crying, grieving.
based on materials from grimuar.ru, mistic-world.ru, charybary.ru

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Cemeteries are supposed to be located south of the church; on the north side, only suicides and stillborn babies are buried.

The graves are dug in the direction from east to west, and the coffin with the body is laid with its feet to the east - according to legend, in order to make it easier to climb on the Day of Judgment.

Even not believing in omens, you should not violate the ethics of visiting places of mourning ... All the rituals associated with the deceased appeared for a reason and it is not for nothing that the people preserve their traditions.

Records found: 65

Hello, at the grave of his father someone leaves handfuls of coins or a few pectoral crosses, on a monument, on a table, on the floor. Not for the first time. What can this mean and how to be? Thanks.

Tatiana

Tatiana. I do not know who is doing this and why, but I am sure that you do not need to be afraid of anything. Take the crosses to the church, and distribute the small change to those in need.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello! Please tell me what to put on a relative's grave and what not? Is the cross enough, do you need a photo and other data about the deceased? They say that you need something like a monument with photos and data. Tell me what is really needed?

Yuri

Hello Yuri! First of all, there should be a cross on the Orthodox grave. For the memory of the living, you can hang a plate with the data of the deceased, a photograph. If in time you wish to erect a monument, then the cross on it must still be present.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Good health. I wanted to order a new cross at the cemetery, because the old one fell, and I was offered to put the cross on a boo, but it also needs to be bought, only it is cheaper. These, they say, are the crosses that are removed in order to erect a monument. Is it even possible to put such a cross?

Catherine

Catherine, of course, you can. If it is expensive to put a new cross on the grave, put the one that you are offered. An Orthodox grave should not have a monument, but an Orthodox cross.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello, is a photograph required on the monument of the deceased?

Tatiana

Tatyana, there must be an Orthodox cross on an Orthodox grave, everything else (monuments, photos, etc.) is not at all necessary.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Good afternoon, father! In the Kharkiv region, a mother and her three children - 6 months, 6 years and 7 years old - burned down during a fire. They were buried in two coffins: a mother with a 6-month-old baby in one coffin, and children 6 and 7 years old - in another coffin. And instead of four graves in the cemetery, there are only two. How does the church relate to such cases and is this permissible at all? Save the Lord for the answer. Excuse for troubling.

Natalia

Natalya, yes, this is possible, there is nothing reprehensible here: remember, for example, the soldiers' mass graves, where many people are buried, and over the grave there is one large monument or cross. Moreover, this was the case with the early Christian martyrs - not always each of them was buried separately. Very often the bones of the martyrs, burnt in a furnace or torn to pieces by wild beasts, were buried by pagans in one grave.

Abbot Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, tell me, please, is it true that earth cannot be poured from one grave onto another? The fact is that during the erection of monuments to my parents, the soil from the graves was mixed. If this is a violation, how can you fix it?

Lydia

Lydia, there are no rules in the church that would indicate that you cannot take land from one grave to another. I think this is not essential. We all live on the same land, under the same sun, and we all breathe the same air. Don't worry, there is nothing wrong. The main thing is to pray for your dead, and visit church yourself more often, confess and receive communion.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello father! Doesn't the fact that on the grave of an Orthodox person, when erecting a monument and a fence, the workers pulled out an oak cross, put it on the grave, poured it over with concrete and put paving slabs on top, does not contradict the Orthodox canons. (There is a small Orthodox cross in the upper corner of the erected monument).

Gennady

Gennady, we, Orthodox, must live and die in the Orthodox way, and we must bury in a strictly Christian way. The most important thing at the Orthodox grave is, of course, the CROSS. The cross should not be drawn, but should stand at its full height. Tell me, why does the deceased need a monument at all, if it is erected instead of a cross? It is not right. The cross should not have been taken out of the grave. The cross is our hope, our hope. And what is a monument - it is a soulless block of marble, which, unfortunately, is now being erected by many instead of the Cross. The cross on the grave of an Orthodox Christian must be mandatory, and not lie but stand!

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello! Please answer two questions about Genesis. 1. Why the Bible tells twice about the origin of man - once in the sixth [Gen. 1: 23-29], and the second time the seventh day of creation [Gen. 2: 2-8] and [Gen. 2: 15-24]? 2. Why is the creation / creation of man different in the sixth and seventh days of creation? Thank you!

Vladimir

Vladimir, there is no contradiction here, it’s just a narrative style characteristic of such an ancient monument as the Bible. First, it speaks about the creation of the world and man including, and then in more detail about the origin of all that exists.

Abbot Nikon (Golovko)

Hello! Please answer my question. My grandmother died, and we do not know the exact date of death, because they found her on January 12 in the morning, and this date was written everywhere, in documents and on the monument. But after comparing some facts, we doubtful, but came to the conclusion that she died on the afternoon of January 11. How should we be now and when to do memorial days, especially the important fortieth day? This is a very painful question for me. After all, we may be late (so to speak) with the memorial day. Please help and thanks in advance.

Natalia

Natalia, if the most likely date of death is January 11, then remember it in accordance with this date, and without embarrassment.

Abbot Nikon (Golovko)

Hello! Please tell me what will be right: to put on the grave of an Orthodox a monument with a cross and a photograph of the deceased, or just a cross? If you just put a cross, then is it possible to place the image of the deceased on the cross, or is only a plate with the full name of the person allowed? and date of birth and death?

Oleg

Oleg, a Christian should always have the Cross, both during life and after death. The cross on the grave must stand independently of the monument. You can also erect a monument, as it is convenient, but the cross is separate. On the cross, it is better to make only the date and full name, and the photo separately. But you can make a tombstone with an inscription and a photo, and put the cross separately, it will be inexpensive.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello. Help, tell me what to do. Neighbors bring burial crosses from the cemetery and set them up in front of my windows. They also erected a monument depicting the deceased. Earlier, my child suffered from the actions of these people - he was in the hospital for more than a month, and when he was discharged, crosses appeared under the window. I cannot remove them. I live with one and two small children.

Irina

What, however, "hardworking" neighbors you come across, Irina! Their energy - yes to a peaceful channel!
Do not be afraid, this whole circus will not harm you. And yourself - stand firm in the faith, live together with the Church, approach the Church Sacraments more often, grace will protect you, and the Lord will not leave His own! The apostle said, "If God is for us, who is against us?" (Rom. Ch. 8, Article 31). And besides, you can turn to public utilities, and to the help of the law, because it is unlikely that the law allows the installation of cemetery crosses taken from nowhere on a residential or public territory.

Abbot Nikon (Golovko)

Hello. Thanks for all your answers. I have another question: they ordered a monument for the deceased mother, and my grandmother wanted (well, they talked it out) to make a monument to herself with a portrait and date of birth. Isn't it a sin to order a monument for yourself in advance? And another question: they say that young people should not wear fresh flowers to the cemetery, but only artificial ones - otherwise, supposedly, young people will die. It's just superstition, isn't it? And where do people get this nonsense? Thanks in advance for your answers!

Hello Julia! In Orthodoxy, there is a tradition to prepare a coffin and a cross for oneself during life. Many saints have done this, and there is nothing wrong with that. This is the remembrance of death, which every Christian, especially the elderly, should have. If the grandmother wants to order a monument, let him order it, if the relatives do not mind. Regarding colors - definitely superstition. Fresh flowers in the cemetery are a symbol of the eternal life of the deceased. And superstitions are born from ignorance and unwillingness to study their faith.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

In 2007, I installed a tombstone for my deceased wife. The red granite headstone depicts an Orthodox cross, a portrait of Tanyusha, a favorite flower - clematis, and a stylized (unrecognizable) sculptural image of a little girl. The invested meaning is that my Tanya will be like a guardian angel to her granddaughter Alexandra, whom she loved very much. Now the eldest daughter Anastasia insists on reworking the monument. Advise, father, how to be.

Kozlovsky Vladimir Leonidovich

Of course, your daughter is driven by superstitious fear. The monument does not need to be altered, the plot can be reinterpreted. Look at the icon of the Dormition of the Mother of God, where the soul of the Mother of God is depicted in the hands of the Savior in the form of a little girl, so this figure on the tombstone can be interpreted as a symbolic image of the soul of the deceased.

deacon Elijah Kokin

Hello, my name is Natalya, I am from Kazakhstan. I had one question, but first a little background: my mother, to my great regret, has been gone for almost 5 years, she sang in the church choir and I grew up at the church (if I may say so) and now, I remember that my mother always she said that she did not want a monument to be erected to her after her death, she allowed us to erect only a wooden cross. She explained it, but here is how she explained, literally I do not remember. She said something about the fact that on the day of judgment the cross would have to be carried, but it would be impossible to lift the monument ... And my question is: is this described somewhere in the Bible? Where did mom get such a decision?

Natalia

Hello, Natalia.
Putting a wooden cross on the grave is a pious Russian tradition. The simplicity of the material speaks of the lack of possession of the deceased.
Many will bequeath part of their funds and property to donate to the needy, and put a simple wooden cross on the grave.
On the other hand, in this way Christians confess their readiness to follow Christ and hope for the salvation of the soul. After all, the instrument of our salvation - the Cross of Christ - was made of wood.
Perhaps, one should not take literally the desire of mother to carry a wooden cross on the day of judgment, but of course, she wanted to have evidence that she carried her Cross through all the trials of earthly life.
God bless.

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Father, bless! On my father's grave, curb stones were used for landscaping. I want to put a monument on the grave and remove the curb stones. Can they be used at their summer cottage? Save me, God.

Oleg

Hello Oleg! These stones are your property, you can do with them as you wish. But I personally would not take stones from the cemetery home.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

An Orthodox cross was installed on my mother's grave 57 years ago. Now I want to put up a monument. Is it possible to replace or remove an old cross that has fallen into disrepair?

Alexander

Hello, Alexander! You can erect a monument with the image of a cross, and the old cross, so that there is no desecration, can be burned or sawed into pieces and again burned.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello! I really want to embroider our wedding portrait with my husband. Everything is ready for this. Mom, having learned about my desire, a couple of days later said that this should not be done, that it was something like a monument in life. I was very upset, so I want to know if this is so, and can I embroider a wedding portrait? Maybe you need to go to church before starting work and ask for a blessing. Please tell me what is the right thing to do?

Life and death are two inseparable components of the earthly existence of the human soul. Different peoples have developed certain rules for burial, which are carefully passed on from generation to generation. According to Christian customs, the deceased are buried; on the day of burial, a wooden eight-pointed cross is placed on the grave, and flowers are laid. When are the wreaths removed from the grave after the funeral and should it be done? Let's try to answer these questions based on church canons and folk traditions.

The cross as a symbol of the incorruptibility of the soul

According to Christian customs, the cross should be placed at the feet of the deceased so that the face of the deceased is turned to the crucifixion. This rule is often neglected by placing a cross in their heads. Another church canon is often violated - the fastening of a photograph of a deceased relative to the cross. You don't need to do this, just hang up a sign with your name and dates of birth / death.

For Orthodox Christians, the cross is a traditional form of a tombstone, the head tending upwards points to heaven - the place of residence of the soul freed from the mortal body. According to established traditions, flowers are laid on the grave and funeral wreaths are placed in tribute to the memory and respect for the deceased.

Which flowers are better, natural or artificial?

Keeping the cemetery in order is not so much a spiritual aspect as a social one. Agree that the deceased does not care at all what his grave looks like. This is necessary for the living - so that there is somewhere to come in moments of sorrow or joy, to ask for advice or to receive a blessing. The question of when the wreaths are removed from the grave after the funeral according to the church canons should not have existed in principle. In any case, this problem did not arise until the middle of the last century.

The thing is that, according to Christian customs, the graves were decorated with fresh flowers, the lifespan of which is short. Therefore, they were removed during the first few days. It is possible and necessary to clean the burial place of unnecessary details, bring it into proper form at any time. Most of the clergy think so. Moreover, according to the canons of the church, artificial flowers that have come to replace the living today are a symbol of lies and hypocrisy.

Binding to the fortieth memorial day

In Soviet times, when they were not particularly observed, a tradition arose to lay flowers made of light fabric or paper on the graves. Today, funeral wreaths are made of plastic, which greatly extends their lifespan. These memorial attributes can be outdoors without prejudice to their appearance for several months or even years.

People who are deeply religious, when asked when they remove the wreaths from the grave after the funeral according to church canons, usually answer: by the fortieth day after the burial. In fact, there are no strict church rules on this score.

It is possible to explain the validity of this statement by the custom, which has developed in Orthodoxy, after 40 days after the funeral, to invite a priest to the grave of the deceased to perform the funeral service. It is highly desirable that the place should be nicely and cleanly tidied up by the time of the father's arrival. But we repeat: there are no prohibitions on putting things in order in burial places before this date.

How to care for a grave

The care of the graves, in the opinion of the clergy, should be carried out regularly, as needed. Removing faded flowers, replacing worn-out wreaths, touching up crumbling earth - this can be done at any time. Thus, the living pay tribute to the dead, show others, and above all themselves, that memory and love for the departed do not fade in their hearts.

When the wreaths are removed from the grave after the funeral, in case of subsidence of the soil, it is corrected with a shovel, giving the mound the correct shape. The surface can be overlaid with green turf, perennial flowers can be planted around. Chrysanthemums, zinnias, marigolds, daffodils, lilies of the valley take root well and do not require constant care. In this case, there is no need to use artificial attributes.

What to do with worn-out wreaths

Each cemetery has specially designated places for storing such items, which are ultimately household waste to be disposed of. In many countries, they are gradually abandoning the use of artificial wreaths, as plastic recycling requires additional costs and damages the environment.

Imagine a huge city cemetery where hundreds of burials are made every day. Naturally, when the wreaths are removed from the grave after the funeral, whole heaps of unnecessary memorial attributes are formed, which are then taken to the landfill. In rural areas, worn-out wreaths are simply burned somewhere nearby. The acrid odor of plastic released at the same time not only pollutes the environment, but also disrupts the blissful atmosphere inside the village churchyard.

What days you can't clean the cemetery

According to church statutes, it is forbidden to do cleaning, paint fences, plant flowers and trees on graves on all Sundays, and even more so on Orthodox holidays. Such actions are considered a sin and an expression of disrespect for the church.

In addition, there are certain periods when you should not go to the cemetery at all. These include:

• Christmas days (from 7 to 20 January).
• Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Great Saturday.
• Easter and the following Bright week.
• The days of the twelve holidays.
• Any Sundays.

Visiting the deceased usually begins with Radonitsa (parental day), which falls on Tuesday sixteen days after Easter.

Do you need a monument?

The Orthodox Church condemns any excesses in the arrangement of burial places. But since many of us do not consider ourselves deeply religious, over the past few decades, a custom has developed to erect monuments on graves. As a rule, such monuments are made of marble or granite, cast from various types of metal. In response to the question of when to erect a monument after the funeral, you can often hear the statement: not earlier than twelve months later. Why is that?

Some explain this by the need to withstand a period of 1 year, after which any manipulations on the grave of the deceased will not be able to disturb him. According to popular beliefs, after 12 months the soul of the deceased finally leaves our world. It is quite possible that there is some kind of rational grain in such reasoning. No one has yet been able to look beyond the edge of eternal darkness.

Interestingly, the workshops for making heavy tombstones will tell you the same thing. Only the foundation will be more mundane, without being tied to the afterlife mythology. So when to erect the monument after the funeral? Only when the soil on the grave is completely compacted will it finally shrink. This process in most cases takes at least one year. Otherwise, the metal or stone structure may become uneven, skewed, fall or deformed due to the movement of the soil layers.

The cross is not a hindrance to the monument

Now we know where and when the wreaths are removed from the grave after the funeral. But the crosses installed during burial, according to Orthodox customs, should be handled with care. Even if you decide to immortalize the memory of a deceased relative in marble or bronze, the cross must be left in place. In this case, the monument is installed either next to the cross, or on the opposite side from it.

In some cases, the cross can be laid next to the grave or, in agreement with the clergyman, burned in a church oven. It seems that in any case, external manifestations of respect for the dead are not so important. The main thing is the spiritual relationship and the memory that lives in our hearts.